Be careful what you wish for.....with a HAPPY ending!!!

TRUE LOVE!!

PROUD PROUD DADDY!!

1ST FAMILY PICTURE!!

SO ALERT!

Look how big the newborn diapers were on her!

so little & precious!

awww tender!

Once I am experiencing pain I am pretty tough and can handle it, but the thought of any possible pain makes me want to cry. Ever since I was old enough to know that having a baby was painful, I have told my mom that I wanted to be put to sleep and woken up after the baby was out, of course I didn't REALLY want that, but the thought of the pain made me joke about wanting that....well my wish came true....and now I regret ever wishing for that. After a fairly easy pregnancy the time had come for my baby girl to come into this world. My doctor scheduled us to be induced on Monday July 18th. We went to the hospital the night before to get things started. We got checked in and hooked up to all the monitors. Sticking to her true form, Molly was being stubborn and moving around alot so we had to keep adjusting the monitors all night and I had to hold them in place most of the night, but it wasn't that bad. Around 1 am I started to feel the contractions. They weren't horrible, but they were noticeable. A couple hours later the nurse came to check my progress and I was dilated to a 1 and like 15% effaced...still a looong way to go. But at this point the contractions were intense enough that I asked for something for the pain. Shortly after that I was feeling good again and was able to get some rest. I wasn't really keeping track of the time that morning, but things happened quickly. The nurse came in a couple of times to check me and I was progressing slowly, but still progressing. She told me that my doctor would be in to break my water soon since that usually helps things go a little faster. At some point I had called my parents who were staying at our house to be closer to the hospital and to help with our little doggies to let them know what was going on. My mom wanted to be there at the hospital as soon as possible as to not miss anything and she wanted to bring Tom some breakfast. While we were waiting for my parents my doctor came in to break my water and since Molly was moving all over and we couldn't keep her on the monitor the nurse asked him to also put the internal monitor in so that we didn't have to keep chasing her. For those that don't know the internal monitor is a little corkscrew thing that goes into the baby's scalp so that we can have constant monitoring and not have to worry about her moving all over. So my parents got there not too long after and my mom stayed with me while Tom went out in the waiting room to eat his breakfast with my dad since I wouldn't let him eat in front of me. The nurse thought it would be a good idea for me to get the epidural at that point, I wasn't really in enough pain to want it yet, but she was pretty insistent that it was a good time so I figured she knew what she was talking about and said fine. So about 10-20 minutes after my parents got there the anesthesiologist came in to do the epidural. As badly as I wanted the epidural I was pretty nervous cause I hate needles and pain. My parents left the room and we got started. It wasn't that bad at 1st but it seemed to be taking a really long time and it was getting harder and harder to stay holding still. Well then I started to feel weird pains in my legs and my body started to go numb. All of a sudden I got REALLY REALLY nauseous and started dry heaving. The poor nurse got really frantic when I said I was really nauseous...I thought it was normal, but by the look on her face, I assume that not everyone pukes while getting the epidural. Shortly after I started loosing control of my body. I started tipping over and couldn't hold myself up, Tom had to hold me up from the front and the nurse had to hold me up from the side. If she let go I would start to tip over and had NO control. Then I couldn't breathe! I really could NOT breathe! The nurse got panicked and got an oxygen mask on me, even with that I still couldn't breathe. The anesthesiologist had told me that he was having a hard time getting the epidural to go through all the layers so he had to go up a level in between higher vertebrae. So because I was having a hard time sitting up and breathing they decided to have me lay down and try it that way. As soon as they went to lay me down I fell over. I was seriously having a hard time breathing and I was starting to panic. They were trying to keep me calm, but it wasn't working cause I was struggling so hard. It's hard to stay calm when you can't breathe and are gasping for air! Then all of a sudden my doctor was running in followed by a couple other doctors and a bunch of nurses and everyone was running around the room. I heard someone tell Tom that because it was an emergency he couldn't come with and next thing I know I am being wheeled out of the room. I knew that they were taking me in for an emergency c-section, but they didn't tell Tom that that is what they were doing. He knew something was wrong, but he had no idea what was going on because things happened so fast that no one had time to explain anything to him. Meantime I am being wheeled to the operating room and still struggling REALLY hard to breathe. This whole time I had a really calm feeling that my sweet unborn baby was going to be ok, but I HONESTLY did not think that I was going to make it. I was just thinking, "Tom is going to have to raise this baby alone, I hope that they are ok!" And the next thing that I know I was starting to come to in the recovery room and I couldn't see (they had taken my glasses off) and my mom was talking to me. I was SOOO confused (they had to put me to sleep to do the c-section since the epidural hadn't gone into affect)! Here I am thinking that I had died and all of a sudden my mom was talking to me. I couldn't figure out what was going on. So then my mom starts telling me about my baby and how she weighs 6 pounds and 9 ounces and has dark curly hair!!! WHAT??? I was so confused because I was expecting AT LEAST an 8 pound baby, even though my doctor had told me that she wasn't very big and probably wouldn't be bigger than 7.5 pounds, I was still convinced that she was going to be bigger than 6.9. And the dark curly hair thing was confusing me because I was ABSOLUTELY convinced that my baby was going to be bald and if she did have any hair it would be blond blond. As I am trying to process all of this confusing information people kept coming in and talking to me and confusing me even more. In the background I kept hearing Tom talking all excited about our baby and how cute she is and it was so good to hear the pure excitement in his voice! They finally took me from the recovery room to my regular room and as they were wheeling me through the halls I had nurses from labor & delivery coming up to me and telling me that they are so glad that me and baby are ok and that we really gave them a scare. My sisters were great and went back to our L&D room to gather up all our stuff and they were kinda freaked out a little cause they had to get me into the operating room so fast that they left needles and blood all over the floor in the room. By this point I was finally starting to come to and understand that I wasn't dead and that me and baby girl were both going to be just fine. Apparently what had happened to cause them to rush me out of there so fast was that my baby's heart rate had dropped to 60!!! YIKES! However, the only reason they knew that was because of that internal monitor that the doctor had JUST put in right before all of this happened! I am SOOO grateful for wonderful doctors and nurses that were able to get us taken care of and get Molly here alive and safe! But when I think back to that day it breaks my heart that I was asleep and missed the birth of my angel baby. And it breaks my heart that Tom wasn't able to be in the room with us, he wasn't able to cut the cord, he wasn't able to hold my hand, he wasn't able to be part of it at all. That is SOOO not how we had envisioned this wonderful day! So be careful what you wish for, I wished to be asleep when my baby was born and that wish regretfully came true! Again I am so very grateful that everything worked out well and that both me and Molly are alive and safe and healthy! Because they had to put me to sleep Molly got some of the anesthesia and so they had to kind of revive her when they got her out, but they had her out in 6 minutes and she is perfectly healthy to this day! Molly has been such a wonderful blessing to us & she is such a good baby we couldn't have been any luckier!

already found her fingers!